Beyond Grades

Let me tell you a story. There was once a brilliant boy who excelled in his studies, consistently ranking first in his class throughout his school years. Afterward, he passed the IIT entrance exam on his first attempt. He went on to complete his B.Tech and pursued an MBA at the University of California in the USA.

As a technocrat, he secured a well-paying job with a seven-figure salary. He later married a beautiful woman from his hometown in India. Together, they built a comfortable, luxurious life with their two children.

Yet, years later, tragedy struck. The man took his own life by shooting himself. Before doing so, he tragically ended the lives of his wife and children. In a suicide note, he expressed that this was the best solution under the circumstances. The case was later analysed by the California Institute of Clinical Psychology under the title, “What Went Wrong?”

After studying the boy’s suicide note, the researcher met with his friends. It was revealed that the primary reason for his extreme step was losing his job due to the economic crisis. He had been unemployed for a long period.

Despite lowering his salary expectations, he couldn’t secure another job. He even did some odd jobs for a while. Unable to pay his home loan EMIs, he eventually lost his house. They managed to survive for a year, but eventually, he and his wife decided to take their own lives.

The case study concluded that the man was programmed for success but lacked the training to handle failure, underscoring the vital importance of resilience and coping skills.

This is not an isolated incident. Similar cases are happening both in India and abroad. Failure often brings depression, and depression can tragically lead to suicide. But life is meant to be lived, not cut short before its time.

The fear of failure is also taking a toll on our children. Numerous IIT students have ended their lives for various reasons, including the fear of not getting securing high-paying jobs.

Kota, known for its competitive exam coaching centers, witnesses many students taking their own lives each year. Why? To fulfill their parents’ ambitions of turning them into engineers and doctors. Parents often fail to understand their children’s mental state, pushing them into paths they are not meant to follow.

Parents should foster their children’s passions while also preparing them for the realities of life, including learning from failures and developing coping mechanisms. While success can be a poor teacher, failure often imparts more valuable lessons. True success lies not just in achievements but in the capacity to endure challenges and grow stronger through adversity.

This idea also reflects on the current education system. It brings to mind the ancient Gurukul system, which thrived between 1500 BCE and the 12th century CE, with renowned institutions like Taxila and Nalanda. 

In this system, students lived with their guru in a residential setting, receiving a comprehensive education. The curriculum ranged from the Vedas and Upanishads to subjects like science, arts, philosophy, economics, and governance, with a strong focus on practical skills, ethics, and character building.

It’s important to understand the difference between IQ and EQ. IQ (Intelligence Quotient) measures cognitive skills like reasoning, problem-solving, memory, and logic. On the other hand, EQ (Emotional Quotient) relates to emotional and social skills, including self-awareness, empathy, interpersonal abilities, and relationships.

While IQ is often considered more fixed, EQ can be cultivated and enhanced through practice and training. Both IQ and EQ play essential roles, and a healthy balance of the two can lead to greater success and fulfillment in life.

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–Kaushal Kishore 

image: pinterest