At The Crucial Crossroads

I was shocked to learn that in Lucknow a 16-year-old boy had shot dead his mother as she stopped him from playing the online game PUBG. Killing own mother, who has given birth, whose lap is the best place to cry and relax, is beyond my imagination.

He used the registered pistol of his father, who is in army posted in West Bengal. The boy used to live with her younger sister and mother. 

His nine-year-old sister was also at home when the incident took place, but he threatened her not to reveal it to anyone and used a room freshener to hide the smell of the decomposed body, locked inside a room.

After two days when the smell of the decomposed body became severe, he informed his father weaving a false story around the incident that an electrician did it. The father called the neighbours, who informed the police. The boy finally accepted the truth.

This incident, not rare now, raises some pertinent questions. It’s alleged that the boy hosted a party for his friends the very next day of murder in the same house. It means he had no fear or remorse. And whatever he did, can we imagine even in our dreams, that a juvenile could do with this precision and planning?

I was thinking what may be the reason for such an anger in a minor, what our children need, who may be actually responsible etc etc.

I have seen parents giving mobiles to newborn babies to play, to get themselves free to play on other mobiles, and then they also feel pride that their kids have become techno-savvy so early. But when the same kids get addicted to online games or porns, they start blaming mobile, television, friends, community, and everything else, but not themselves.

The genesis lies in the roots. As we sow, so we reap. How much quality time we are spending with our kids is of paramount importance. Our children remain cut-off from the family, as they don’t get the moral and ethical support from the family, particularly in a nuclear family.

During teenage years, there are physical, hormonal and mental changes in children. The brain reaches its biggest size in early adolescence, it’s time when significant growth and development take place inside the teenage brain. That’s the time of utmost care and caution.

This is the time to keep children busy in creative activities, learning new skills including soft ones instead of leaving them in lurch and fending for themselves, when they need our support the most. Help them learn from their mistakes and genuinely praise them for constructive thoughts and deeds.

Keeping tabs on their movements and friends is a must for all parents. Arranging play dates for friends at homes under the guidance of one of  mothers will create a climate for establishing cordial and friendly relationships with them.

At the same time, I also feel that there are situations which our children don’t want to discuss. In that case, if we choose a close and knowledgeable friend or relative as the mentors for our children, they may find an outlet to vent their rage or feelings.

It’s always easy to blame others, but when we point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back. We will have to think what has happened during the last 30 to 35 years that has changed all the equations of relationships.

Increasing crime among teenagers is a matter of concern. We have definitely erred somewhere deplorably. Remember, GIGO (garbage in, garbage out) applies to humans too.

–Kaushal Kishore


images: pinterest

31 Comments

  1. I was going to agree with every word you have written, Kaushal, but I once wrote about bringing up children successfully, and the rules that are needed.
    Rule no one – you have to start very earlier, certainly not in adolescence as by then it is too late.
    From birth through the toddler stage but before children become precocious.

    Joanna

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree with you, Joanna, that we should start from the birth, as newborns are now being given mobiles to play with themselves. My emphasis on adolescence is because at that stage, their body and mind are undergoing dramatic changes. In one of my posts, I had stated as to how I myself was given all sorts of allurements during that period that could have cause deviance from the norm. Thank you, Joanna, for your value addition.

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    1. Anger management among youth and teenagers is certainly an issue now. Thank you so much, Grace for reading and sharing your frank opinion. 💖💐

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is horrible! How have things come to such a pass? We have no TV and we keep our cellphones and computer turned off and put away nearly all the time that my daughter Kitty (age 5) is with us, and have done so since she was born.
    Her father, Jack, who is always demanding more time with Kitty, just sets her in front of the TV or entertains her with video games when he has her. As bad as I think that is for her, I believe that interacting with him would be worse as I think he is as bereft of morality as the boy in the above story. Jack would have no reaction to the story of a 16-year-old killing his mother over a video game other than a completely emotionless, “oh well, she must have deserved it.”
    Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad that you are so careful about Kitty, and I’m sure that it will add to her personality, but I’m little worried about Jack. He needs to be counselled. In fact, our lifestyle has undergone a sea change that is responsible for our irresponsible behaviour. But if we can’t mend our ways, we can’t expect from others including our own kids. Thank you for reading and sharing your deep reflections!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What a sad and horrible incident. To shoot his own mother and then not feeling any remorse. I agree with you about bringing kids up and what you sow, you reap. Giving them devises to keep them occupied becomes a problem later on. The thing is that people tend to take the easy way by giving them devices. Keeping screen time in check is something all parents have to do with this generation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not only keeping screen time in check, but also keeping kids busy in some constructive activities will help. Short cut routes will always put us in trouble. Children are very intelligent. They observe what others are doing and try to follow suit. Thank you, Manu for sharing your beautiful thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree with everything you have said about how we need to spend time with our children and . draw those lines in the sand that they cannot and must not step over. The Rules are important as is the love and examples we set.My children are adults now and I enjoy and admire both of them .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy to know about your children. The quality of upbringing matters a lot. And yes, I agree that a bit of carrot and stick policy always works. Thank you, Anne, for sharing your frank opinion.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. So tragic. I appreciate your insights. Essentially, incomprehensible; and, yet, it is still important to seek root causes, and enact preventative methods. To learn from the wrongs of society itself. I wrote briefly, in response to the shooting in Uvalde, Texas. The 18 yr. old shooter, first shot his grandmother, before driving over to the school, where he killed children even younger than him, as well as teachers. Here is the link: https://wp.me/pbvG5G-1pT

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing the link. It’s a nicely articulated piece on the topic. Values of our society are changing, and if our lawmakers and opinion makers are not sensible, the things are bound to deteriorate.

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  6. It is such a sad thing when something like this happens. It happens here in the US as well. We see teens shooting each other almost daily here in Charlotte, NC. You are right garbage in garbage out. So many shows and movies glorify killing and shooting! Such a contradiction.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re right, Dwight, movies and televisions are spoiling the tender minds of kids. They are at the crossroads. I therefore think that a proper guidance, or sanskar, can be given by the parents and family from the very beginning. Thank you for sharing your reflections.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This is terrible, so shocking!! I feel so bad for that lady. I can’t even imagine the sequence of events that led up to that disaster. We need to be much more aware of what goes on around us, and with the people living with us.

    Thank you for bringing discussing it. More and more people need to be aware of these kind of events around the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m really surprised at the anger of our children that might be the cause of such an unfortunate incident. I think a proper environment needs to be made available to children for their normal growth and development. Thank you, Shruti for reading and sharing your thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. You may have heard that in the last two years, the US has suffered a wave of gun violence by young men 17-20 years old. Some of them used assault rifles legally purchased. Hopefully, stricter gun laws will be passed. I believe that what you have posted has it right. The young people are angry, with good reason…They are growing up in a violent world with pandemics, corruption, wealth inequality, climate change…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, Cheryl, I read such tragic news, but we don’t have the gun culture like US. Here it’s difficult to buy and keep a firearm. In the instant case, the pistol was in the name of the boy’s father, who is in Army. I think emotional issues matter a lot apart from what you have mentioned. Thank you for sharing your reflections!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I agree about technology. I lived in a household with a young boy who was two or three when I first moved in. I bought some simple board games to play with him or I’d have him bring his legos downstairs and we’d build things together. As he grew, he had less interest in boardgames or books read to him as his parents had started him on a tablet and computer games. Then he would want me to stand over him and watch him play the computer game instead. My son also got into video games, even though I read to him or he read to me even up through his high school years, and I’d play and sing to him as well. He also grew up playing board games with me and hiking with me.

    I worked in preschools for a time and loved that part of the process was teaching the children how to peacefully work out their differences and communicate their feelings. I believe conflict resolution should be started at a young age, along with diversity awareness, self esteem building and anti-bullying. The world is so fast paced and social media has ramped up the potential for affecting children. So children and teens need skills to navigate all of this. In the US kids now have shooter drills in school due to the increase in mass murders in schools. I can’t even imagine having to navigate that along with all the changes taking place within a child physically and emotionally, as you point out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad to see you here with such a beautiful comment. Thank you so much. I absolutely agree with what you say and feel. Technologically, out pace has accelerated, and so are the relationships, as you have rightly mentioned about that boy and your own son.
      Gun culture and violence are beyond my comprehension, but when I see the nature of computer games, I know it’s one of the reasons. Social media have also corrupted minds of our youth. I don’t know where we are heading.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, when the work I’m part of succeeds, everything will change. This is a dark timeline and its lies, propaganda, violence, genocide, economic slavery, divisiveness, abuse of all kinds permeates all aspects of life, even the disconnect between our souls and the divine, and our bodies and this planet. Social media in many ways just heightens the divisiveness, sense of lack, and poor self esteem and powerlessness. Look at how many religions teach this divisiveness, separation, that souls are doomed and guilty since birth.

        This dark timeline will end. Its expiration date is long gone.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You’re right, some religions preach hatred instead of love and brotherhood. But you sound hopeful, and we all should. Let better sense prevail. Amen!

        Liked by 1 person

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