एक अलग ही दुनिया / A World of its Own

(With English Translation)


जब मैं स्नातकोत्तर का छात्र था, मुझे अपने एक सहपाठी की शादी में जाने का मौक़ा मिला। साथ में और सभी साथी भी थे। चूंकि हमारे ग्रुप में यह पहली शादी थी, हम लोगों ने खूब मजे किए। मस्ती करते करते जब थक गए, तो एक ही बड़े हॉल में अपने अपने बिस्तर पर सो गए।

पर कुछ ही देर बाद एक कोने से खर्राटे की इतनी तेज़ आवाज़ आने लगी कि पंद्रह मिनट के भीतर उस शख़्स के अलावा सभी जग गए।

हम उस बन्दे को हिलाते, तो कुछ मिनट शान्ति रहती, फिर उसकी रेलगाड़ी शुरू हो जाती। घंटे भर यही सिलसिला चला, पर कोई चैन नहीं। अंत में हमने सोचा कि जब सोना ही नहीं है, तो उसे भी मत सोने दो, और फिर सबेरा होने तक अंताक्षरी खेलते रहे।

जी हां, खर्राटा होता ही ऐसा है, जो सो गया, उसे परमानंद मिल जाता है, और जो नहीं सो पाया, उसे पूरी रात दीवालों पर तारे और उपग्रह तलाशते बितानी होती है।

खर्राटे के सुर भी अलग अलग होते हैं। कोई राग भैरवी का अपभ्रंश सुनाता है, तो कोई वीर रस से सना हुआ घनघोर गर्जन। कोई ट्रेन की आवाज़ निकालता है, तो कोई हवाई जहाज और बुलेट मोटरसाइकिल की।

अगर असली मज़ा लेना हो, तो खर्राटे भरते हुए तीन चार लोगों के बीच बैठ जाइए, एकल (solo), युगल (duet) और सहगान (chorus) का आनंद एक साथ मिल जाएगा, जो अनोखा होगा, अद्भुत होगा।

मजेदार बात तो यह है कि जब उनसे कहो कि तुम भी क्या खर्राटे भरते हो यार, तो उन्हें विश्वास ही नहीं होता। एक दिन मैंने एक शख्स के खर्राटे का विडियो बना कर दिखाया तो झेंप से गए।

सबसे अधिक जटिल होता है पति पत्नी का एक साथ सोना। अगर कोई एक ही खर्राटा लेता है, तो ठीक है। लेकिन यदि दोनों इस मर्ज के मरीज़ हैं, तो जो पहले सो गया, उसे तो चिर आनंद की प्राप्ति हो जाती है, और जो रह गया, वह रह गया निद्रा देवी की गोद से वंचित। पर रेल की दो पटरियों की तरह रहना तो वैसे ही है साथ साथ। एक पटरी पर छुक छुक चलती रहती है, और दूसरी शांत (cool).

किन्तु आखिर यह बला है क्या। कुछ विशेषज्ञ कहते हैं कि सोते समय जब वायु का बहाव गले की त्वचा में स्थित ऊतकों में कम्पन पैदा करता है, तो सांस के साथ कंपनयुक्त ध्वनि निकलती है, जिसे खर्राटा कहते हैं।अब यह नहीं पता कि यह गले की त्वचा की विशेषता है या फिर वायु प्रवाह का दोष।

खर्राटे बंद करने के लिए कोशिशें भी लगातार जारी रही। कोई धूम्रपान और मदिरा पान न करने की सलाह देता है तो कोई वजन कम करने तथा सोने की विशेष स्थिति अपनाने की।

कुछ लोग पुदीने या जैतून के तेल का प्रयोग करते हैं। अब होम्योपैथी दवा के अलावा कई टैबलेट और ड्रॉप भी आ गए हैं। कुछ मशीन जैसे नासिका क्लिप भी अमेज़न पर उपलब्ध हैं। योग गुरु रामदेव भी कहां पीछे रहते। भ्रामरी प्राणायाम को खर्राटे ख़त्म करने के लिए प्रभावी प्रत्यौषध बता दिया है।

इतने सारे रामबाण बताए गए हैं। पर भुक्तभोगियों का कहना है कि मर्ज ज्यों का त्यों है। लोगों का व्यवसाय भी खूब फल फूल रहा है, पर बेचारे मरीज़ को आज तक कोई फल की प्राप्ति तो नहीं हुई, फूल जरूर बन रहे हैं।

एक नुस्खा और। मेरी ओर से। खर्राटे के मरीज़ अगर सोने के पहले अधोलिखित पंक्तियों में “ख” की संख्या गिन लें, तो नींद जरूर आएगी, पर खर्राटे न आने की कोई गारंटी नहीं–

खर्राटे के खरखराहट से खरखराता है खुर्रम ख़ान, और
खुर्रम ख़ान के खरखराहट से खरखराता है खर्राटा..

😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴

A World of its Own

When I was a post-graduate student, I got an opportunity to attend the wedding of one of my classmates, along with other friends. Since this was the first wedding in our group, we had a lot of fun together. Tired of having fun and frolic, we went to sleep in one big hall reserved for us.

But after a while, such a loud sound of snoring started coming from one corner that within fifteen minutes, everyone was awake except that guy.

When we shook that friend, there was peace for a few minutes, but then his train would restart. This went on for an hour, but there was no peace. In the end we decided that if we were not able to sleep, then that culprit should also not sleep. We kept playing antakshari* till the early hours of morning.

Yes, snoring is like this, one who falls asleep gets ecstasy, and the one who fails to sleep, has to spend the whole night looking at stars and planets on the roof.

The tone of snoring also varies from person to person. Somebody sings an apocalypse of Raga Bhairavi, while some other roars or rumbles. There are people, who make all kinds of sounds, e.g. a train, an aeroplane or a bullet motorcycle.

If you want to have real fun, just sit in the midst of three or four people all snoring. You will enjoy solo, duet and chorus all together, a unique experience in itself.

The funny thing is that when you tell a person that he sonres, he won’t believe it. One day I recorded a video of a such a person snoring and showed him. Then he blushed with shame.

The most difficult aspect is that of a couple. If only one snores, that’s okay.  But if both are the patients of this same disease, then the one who sleeps first gets eternal bliss, while the other remains deprived of the lap of the goddess of sleep. It’s living like two railway tracks with one track moving, and the other cool.

But what is this all about? Some experts say that while sleeping, when the air flow causes vibrations in the tissues located in the skin of the throat, then the breath is accompanied by a vibrating sound, which is called snoring. I don’t know whether it’s a characteristic of the skin of the throat or defects in the air flow.

Efforts have been made continuously to stop snoring. Some advise not to smoke or drink, while some other suggests to reduce weight and adopt a special sleeping position.

Some people use peppermint or olive oil. Now in addition to homeopathy medicine, many tablets and drops have also hit the market. Some machines such as the nasal clip are also available on Amazon.

How can our Yoga Guru Ramdev stay behind? He has also prescribed Bhramari Pranayama as an effective antidote for snoring. So there is no dearth of panaceas. But those afflicted with snoring find no relief.

There is one more recipe from my side. If patients of snoring count the number of “kh” in the following lines before sleeping, then they will definitely get a sound sleep, but still, there is no guarantee that they won’t snore–

Kharraate ke kharakharaahat se kharakharaata hai Khurram Khaan,
and
Khurram Khaan ke kharakharaahat se kharakharaata hai kharraata..

😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴

*Antakshari (ending letter) is a spoken parlour game in which a player has to sing a song that begins with the letter on which the previous player ends his song.

-Kaushal Kishore

images: pexels

27 Comments

  1. खर्राटे सिद्ध करते है कि जीव सोते हुए भी कितना रचनात्मक है😊😊
    , मेरा pet tuffy भी बहुत खर्राटे भरता है

    Liked by 1 person

    1. धन्यवाद। रचनात्मकता तो है ही, साथ में सुखी आत्मा भी है वह 😊🤗

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, David for enjoying it. As I said in the first paragraph, that incident of student life was the trigger for writing this piece 😊💖

      Liked by 2 people

  2. This dramatic post, Kaushal, is of interest to me because I am an inventor. I invented a few things but this is another story, here, I have a suggestion that will definitely help, providing
    the person who has this problem is determined to be a peaceful sleeping partner. I noticed from your photos which are illustrating your story that the man is sleeping flat on his back, this is what causes snoring but is useful for my suggestion. This is what he needs to do:
    First, to have two pillows so his head is tilted towards his chest,
    secondly, he needs to put a firm object in the gap between his chin and his chest. It needs to be firm, not soft, to work. Just as an example a flattened horizontally toilet roll would work very well as it would prevent his mouth to open, If the person is fidgety and moves a lot, the firm
    the object should have straps attached from both sides to tie up the ends at the back
    of his neck.

    Joanna

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is amazing, Joanna! You are certainly an innovative experimenter. I would definitely suggest this remedial measure, if I come across a snorer in future. A big thank you, Joanna! This is really appreciable.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha, Grace, I’m happy for you, but advise them not only to count ‘kh’s, but also to follow the measure suggested by Joanna above. Thank you so much 😊💖

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “an apocalypse of Raga Bhairavi” oh, this is wonderful. 😆 I have been called “snoring beauty” by my better half… apparently love is blind but not deaf ;)) 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m happy you liked the post. I know that ENT specialists suggest some medicines to avoid snoring, but the same are not really effective. Thank you for sharing your own experience!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I laughed and laughed regarding your post, KK. There is so much truth in what you say. My wife has said often I used to lift the roof off the house when I snored. I use a sleep apnea machine these days, so there are now many peaceful nights.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy that you enjoyed the post. So the machine comes to help you, Sean! That’s good. I feel happy for you. Thank you for reading and sharing your own reflections!

      Like

  5. अंत में हमने सोचा कि जब सोना ही नहीं है, तो उसे भी मत सोने दो। 😂

    यह अच्छा किया।

    Liked by 1 person

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